001. copy this whole list into your journal.
002. bold the things that are true about you.
003. whatever you don't bold is false.
(anything extra you want to say should be in parentheses)

001. i miss somebody right now.
002. i don't watch much tv these days.
003. i love olives.
004. i love sleeping.
005. i own lots of books.
006. i wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. i love to play video games.
008. i've tried marijuana.
009. i've watched porn movies.
010. i have been in a threesome.
011. i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. i believe honesty is usually the best policy.
013. i have acne-free skin.
014. i like and respect al sharpton.
015. i curse frequently.
016. i have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. i have a hobby.
018. i've been told i: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.
019. i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. i'm really, really smart.
021. i've never broken someone's bones.
022. i have a secret that i am ashamed to reveal.
023. i hate the rain.
024. i'm paranoid at times.
025. i would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. i need money right now!
027. i love sushi.
028. i talk really, really fast.
029. i have fresh breath in the morning.
030. i have semi-long hair.
031. i have lost money in las vegas.
032. i have at least one brother and/or one sister.
033. i was born in a country outside of the united states.
034. i shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis.
035. i have a twin.
006. i have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
037. i couldn't survive without caller i.d.
038. i like the way that i look sometimes.
039. i have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
040. i know how to cornrow.
041. i am usually pessimistic.
042. i have a lot of mood swings.
043. i think prostitution should be legalized.
044. i think britney spears is hot.
045. i have cheated on a significant other in the past.
046. i have a hidden talent.
047. i'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
048. i think that i'm popular.
049. i am currently single.
050. i have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. i enjoy talking on the phone.
052. i practically live in sweatpants or pj pants.
053. i love to shop.
054. i would rather shop than eat.
055. i would classify myself as ghetto.
056. i'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. i'm obsessed with my xanga or livejournal.
058. i don't hate anyone. i dislike them.
059. i'm a pretty good dancer.
060. i don't think mike tyson raped desiree washington.
061. i'm completely embarassed to be seen with my mother.
062. i have a cell phone.
063. i believe in god.
064. i watch mtv on a daily basis.
065. i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
066. i love drama.
067. i have never been in a real relationship.
068. i've rejected someone before.
069. i currently have a crush on someone.
070. i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
071. i want to have children in the future.
072. i have changed a diaper before.
073. i've called the cops on a friend before.
074. i bite my nails.
075. i am a member of the tom green fan club.
076. i'm not allergic to anything.
077. i have a lot to learn.
078. i have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. i plan on seeing ice cube's newest "friday" movie.
080. i am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes. (all the time)
081. i'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. i have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. i have tried alcohol or drugs before.
084. i have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. i own the "south park" movie.
086. i have avoided assignments at work to be on xanga or livejournal.
087. when i was a kid, i played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. i enjoy some country music.
089. i would die for my best friend.
090. i think that pizza hut has the best pizza.
091. i watch soap operas whenever i can.
092. i'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. i have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. i love michael jackson, scandals and all.
095. i know all the words to slick rick's "children's story"
096. halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. i watch spongebob squarepants, and i like it.
098. i have dated a close friend's ex.
099. i have cut myself before.
100. i am happy at this moment.

04.20.2005
22.40 gmt -05.00

faithless (female half of the duo is dido's sister) - in the end

my baby was born in a bed
with white sheets, machines and heat
traveled home in a car to a three room nest, eats and sleeps
laminate flooring to crawl on, tv,
talks, starts to walk, amongst love and security.
goes to school, learns to read and write
probably follows a team with his friends
and gets to ride the train,
fall in love, probably fly on a plane
get to work all week and spend what he earns
on the high street
he's got doctors, nurses, fireman, churches,
kindergarten, wedding bells and jet black hearses
passport, bankcard, maybe his own yard
locks and alarms, trinkets and charms,
maybe a baby in his arms

my baby was born on his knees
one of poverty's offspring
came into the world coughing,
already full of mother's disease
went back to a flat, with no gas, no cash,
wrapped in a duvet full of cigarette ash,
mama can't get no sleep,
baby never quite get enough to eat.
goes to school, learns to steal and fight,
probably form a team with his friends,
go steam those trains
fall in love and never trust nobody again
gets to work all week standing on the high street for joe, hustling blow, hustling blow.

beautiful song. if anyone would like me to send it, hit me up at (on aim) subarashii hi. and this is not an attempt to get anyone to im because i'm lonely and no one ever messages me, just would like to spread good music about.

postscript: i am lonely, im me. coming soon, less emo, more explosions off the belt of orion with my fleet of ion beam frigates and squadron of pulsar corvettes.

04.20.2005
20.25 gmt -05.00

i am truly, afflicted with ocd (or close enough to it). aside from my incessant tidiness and aligning objects about the room, a list, of all my music each tagged and named appropriately. it doesn't even serve a purpose; it's just a list that i like looking at. click on colophon (02) on the left, and then music (09), or click here for a direct link to the list (but without navigation).
gonna go organize my bottles now.

04.20.2005
15.43 gmt -05.00

i asked a friend when we first met.
"many lifetimes ago in a monsoon summer and we sheltered beneath a mango tree," she replied.
moby - hotel - 01 - intro; perfect.

04.18.2005
03.09 gmt -05.00

seven rapidograph pens
a rapidograph in pieces
closeup
i have an unhealthy obsession with india ink and pens.
a doodle.
my hands aren't as steady as they used to be :( i'm old. it's a lot smoother in real life, the flash illuminated the paper making it grainy. (00.30mm on the inside 01.20 mm on the outside)

04.17.2005
17.27 gmt -05.00

rioja. rioja. reverend al green. deep blue morocco. the water on stone. the water on concrete. the water on sand. the water on fire. smoke. the wind. the salt. the bride boat coming. dave in the water. old man. einstein on top of his house. white deep blue andalusia red yellow red yellow black car. red light. far. black place. walls. blue chair. morocco. hamburg. paris. the pieces of the puzzle are waiting. the water of the dark boats gliding. the bride boats gone out to sea and dave is floating. dave is floating. and old man einstein crazy in his attic. crazy.

white room. sun room. shadow room. night transmitting cars across the room. these things sent to dance across the room. eye watching from your bed. returing to you.

04.15.2005
09.56 gmt -05.00

i have 20enty friends! 3hree more and it's prime; complete.

04.12.2005
19.05 gmt -05.00

the interview meme: rules
01. leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
02. i'll reply and give you five questions to answer.
03. you'll update your blog with the five questions answered.
04. you'll include this explanation.
05. you ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. and it just keeps going, and going, and going...

from downtym

01. you're being shipped off to live on a desert isle because you have angered the overload of the world (me) and you can bring along one cd. what are the 15 songs you would have on the cd? you may assume that you can make this cd.
... i hate you. you know it'll take me forever to browse through my mp3s and pick them. here they be in no particular order (and done on the fly else i would never get around to doing this meme).
01. aphex twin - on
02. hooverphonic - out of sight
03. david gray - the other side
04. depeche mode - black celebration
05. mint royale - singing in the rain
06. interpol - slow hands
07. john martyn - sunshine's better (talvin singh)
08. hybrid - true to form
09. hybrid - filter - take a picture
10. faithless - in the end
11. david bowie - bring me the disco king
12. amar - yarada
13. chemical brothers - star guitar
14. midival punditz - forest dreams
15. maia krasnaia - on ledianoi (moonstar remix)

02. why do you do the things you do?
to keep myself from reflecting on where i am at the moment and beacuse the voices tell me...

03. have you ever felt true loss? be as detailed or as mysterious as you desire.
when i went home to bangladesh to my grandfather's house and realized my grandmother is no longer there to welcome us. same when my grandfather died.

04. you find yourself standing in a room with a smoking gun in your hand. the man you just shot lays sprawled on the floor gasping out his last few breaths. why did you shoot him?
bastard ate my last cheeto!

05. would you rather live happily in fantasy or trapped in the real world? to explain, imagine the world was the 'matrix' (*shivers from the example*). would you rather live in the unreal, but real seeming world or the really real world?
would i live in the really real world or the really really real world? i'd choose the really real world. even though it might (and most likely will) suck compared to the seeming world, knowing the truth is comforting. though what the seeming world is the truth for those in it, for the most part. funny no?

my room.
i have a dresser now! no more suitcases for me.
photos in front of my bed.
photos.
more photos.
photos by door.
photos on the other side of the umbrella poster (not shown) next to the door.
my dual monitors! ohhh yeah!!! i had to remove everything from the top of my desk.
if you want stories / details of any of the photos in the photos, lemme know.

04.10.2005
21.13 gmt -05.00

people ask me what i've been doing since my graduation. a year off from life. a year off from anxiety. but the year is almost up; time for me to start looking for a job, time to apply for graduate school...

anxiety is back from vacation; he has photos.

though, is silent when someone is with me... need to find someone to be with me all the time.

04.04.2005
03.13 gmt -05.00

yoinked from aldehyde

the rules: open up the music player on your computer and set it to play your entire music collection. hit the "shuffle" command. tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. that's right; no skipping that carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. it's time for total musical honesty.

01. ustad sultan khan - aja maji
02. full metal alchemist - fukai mori
03. quarashi - stick 'em up
04. letters to cleo - i want you to want me
05. yoko kanno - voices
06. interpol - next exit
07. blumchen - herz an herz
08. gigi d'agostino - super
09. sasha & john digweed - lemon interupt - dirty
10. enigma - almost full moon

04.01.2005
11.32 gmt -05.00

my passat; zefy

front shot
rear
three quarters from the back
profile

03.30.2005
22.46 gmt -05.00

my nanu was a great man. i did not get a chance to say goodbye. but he's moved on, his pain is gone; he's with my nina once more.

obituary in bangla obituary in english

03.24.2005
19.43 gmt -05.00

gads. why does aldehyde keep posting images in their journal?! i keep telling her i'm on a modem! i'm going to unfriend her to teach her a lesson!!!!!!!!!!
this entry automatically generated by the lj drama generator!

so late. have to sleep and prepare for much geekery tomorrow. spent the past 1ne month in iowa. and ummm... lotsa stuff happened. but today; pictures!

something else, but first.

from downtym
name: hamza hafez ahmed esq. (a.k.a. gq wonder bread)
birthday: yom kippur 1981
birthplace: tissemsilt, algeria
current location: atlanta, georgia
eye color: brown
hair color: black
height: i dunno
right handed or left handed: right
your heritage: bengali
the shoes you wore today: puma leather driving shoes
your weakness: always sleepy
your fears: knife to my throat
your perfect pizza: jalapeno, pineapple, hamburger
goal you would like to achieve this year: grad school
your most overused phrase on an instant messenger: hehe and :)
thoughts first waking up: still alive
your best physical feature: my butt!
your bedtime: 1neish
your most missed memory: my dreams
pepsi or coke: coke
macdonald's or burger king: macdonald's
single or group dates: huzzah!
lipton ice tea or nestea: tetley and darjeeling
chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
cappuccino or coffee: iced cafe mocha extra mocha
do you smoke: yes
do you swear: yes
do you sing: only in forests
do you shower daily: yes
have you been in love: a few times
do you want to go to college: again? yes
do you want to get married: yes
do you believe in yourself: i could never make that damn jump
do you get motion sickness: vertigo
do you think you are attractive: indeed
are you a health freak: no
do you get along with your parents: yes
do you like thunderstorms: yes
do you play an instrument: no
in the past month have you drank alcohol: no
in the past month have you smoked: no
in the past month have you been on drugs: no
in the past month have you gone on a date: no
in the past month have you gone to a mall: no
in the past month have you eaten a box of oreos: no
in the past month have you eaten sushi: yes
in the past month have you been on stage: no
in the past month have you been dumped: no
in the past month have you gone skinny dipping: no
in the past month have you stolen anything: no
ever been drunk: no
ever been called a tease: wazzat?
ever been beaten up: no
ever shoplifted: no
how do you want to die: saving natalie portman from an oncoming truck to be later resurrected as a champion of justice
what do you want to be when you grow up: chief engineer of colony ships
what country would you most like to visit: japan, morocco, greece, italy
in a boy/girl...
favorite eye color: any
favorite hair color: not blond, not red
short or long hair: looong
height: shorter, taller, it's all good
weight: in proportion with height
best clothing style: me?
number of drugs i have taken: 0
number of cds i own: more than 75
number of piercings: 0
number of tattoos: 0
number of things in my past i regret: many

full moon in our backyard
waiting for mellissa to come out of her apartment
a crane
stars; unknown to us atlantians
iowa is flat
waaay flat
i miss my parents' cooking. lamb, greek salad, meatballs, and other goodness
darling jana
dusk
my passat 01
my passat 02
driving back to atlanta

03.19.2005
02.16 gmt -05.00

geh meh wha!??... zzz...

03.09.2005
03.36 gmt -06.00

links

muppets over time creepy yet beautiful video of a man with his kermit(s).

another gitmo detainee's accounts.
on a related note, i am reminded why i never obtained a mefi account. they argue... for quite a while. whether the detainee had his pants on or off while he relived himself in the corner of the interrogation room...

sleep is getting better. i'm actually somewhat tired now!

02.07.2005
04.53 gmt -05.00

love to rabab for pointing me towards keane. and to raiyan for kasabian.

our first intermezzo of the year. my first lost credit card of the month.

smitha and i were to purchase rush tickets to the atlanta symphony orchestra. sold out, our only choice was 30irty dollars at the door. i passed, poor as i am. fate intervened and delivered onto smitha 2wo free passes. we were seated on the balcony; vertigo. the usher handed me a january program. the first piece was ok, then hilary hahn played concerto no. 1 in d major for violin and orchestra, op. 19 by prokofiev. intermission with coughing aplenty (for those polite enough to refrain during the pieces), along with an equal number of mock coughs. a piece by debussy (la mer) followed by! BOLERO. i dare not think of it for hours of concentration are required to free one's mind from its too-lazy-to-get-up-leaky-faucet repetitiveness.

i am smitten with ms. hahn. lacking the vocabulary to describe what was felt; wonderful, beautiful, smooth. her movements precise as a finely crafted music box ballerina (wearing a green skirt); the music was her own. came out of the concert rehearsing a number of comments and compliments for ms. hahn. instead. i stammered and fumbled with her cd (elgar's violin concerto, vaughan williams' the lark ascending). the program was similarly signed. what work of hers i had previously heard; a breath of life was gently blown into them.
one could see it, watching her... dance with the violin; playing the air as she pleases.

i slept well that night.

02.06.2005
02.47 gmt -05.00

hilary hahn
elgar, vaughan williams
vaughan williams - the lark ascending

*sigh* such beauty.

02.04.2005
05.26 gmt -05.00

camera sent in for adjustments. no pictures for a bits.

another fine early morning!

genie-ous

02.03.2005
05.52 gmt -05.00

i'm tired! but i can't sleep! WHY???

my left eye takes longer to focus than my right; dammit.

random wall picture
view from a window

02.01.2005
05.29 gmt -05.00

i awoke from nyquil induced grogginess, was startled by my belt on the floor, to find; snow! everywhere! as it is raining freezing rain, i dare not venture forth with my camera. later; 8ightish.

should i be worried? that there is snow and freezing rain in georgia?

01.29.2005
05.40 gmt -05.00

01.27.2005
17.26 gmt -05.00

i heard this song (the killers - somebody told me (josh harris remix)) at the club we went to. it's a good remix actually. can be found on limewire.
and for some reason, i am enamored by destiny's child - lose my breath.

did you know that it's improper to say "it's me"? supposed to be "it's i". i think.

no photos today; have been rather down as of late, rather much. tho! huzzah! my crumpler bag arrived the other day. devoted a goodly 2wo hours to organizing it. well worth the price. pictures of bag and equipment here. the d70 is not in the picture as i used it to take the photos. what's in the bag:
nikon n65
nikon d70
extra lcd cover for d70
extra battery for d70
battery charger for d70
body caps for d70 and n65
nikon 20mm f/2.8 + hood
nikon 50mm f/1.8 + hood
nikon 18-70 f/3.5-4.5 + hood
sigma 28-90 f/3.5-5.6 macro + hood
nikon sb-800 flash
stand for sb-800
battery compartment door for sb-800
extra batteries for sb-800
diffuser dome for sb-800
gel filters for sb-800
lens brush
sensor swipe
pec-pads
eclipse solution
giottos rocket air blower
grey card
rotring
chapstick
cellphone
wallet
cd player
earphones
extra battery for cd player
2wo extra cds for cd player
it all weighs a freaking tonne.

i've got this chill album, chill in india 2 by seoan. tis the only thing that calms me nowadays. 2wo weeks on my cd player.

a meme from livejournal land; my first.
01 name:
02 age:
03 where on earth do you live:
04 what makes you happy:
05 what have you been listening to lately:
06 do you enjoy reading my lj:
07 if so, why:
08 interesting fact about you:
09 are you in love at the moment:
10 favorite place to be:
11 favorite quote:
12 will you post this in your lj:
13 post a picture of yourself:

recommend
01 a movie:
02 a book:
03 a band, song or album:

01.26.2005
02.53 gmt -05.00

the killers
somebody told me (josh harris remix)

received a tip last night; eat carbs before bed. result: better sleep and am able to wake up easier. a sammich every night.

walked around atlanta some more and took pictures using my new lens. love at first sight. never again shall i touch a telephoto lens. though composition is difficult with a wide-angle; perfect practice makes perfect.

met up with smitha later in the night to do some cafe intermezzo-ing. hour long wait. cute girl in mercedes offered her parking spot, if she had been able to get out. skipped yummy cakes and drinks and went to mile's apartment. wonderful view of midtown. however the area it's located in was quite sketchy. miles showed me to the rooftop where i had most fun (and vertigo) for a better part of a half-hour. found out that i am not allergic to ginger snaps.

received another compliment about the jacket! from louise. first thing she noticed was my awesome jacket and shoes. i'm told i wear my clothes well. ironing! and starch!

taken (by friend kyle) while playing pool with justin and friends. i just hit two balls into the corner pocket.

on marta heading back home. i love the texture of the dirty window.
atlanta underground.
heading down to the north line.
the stoic crane.
5ifth street overpass.
view from above. taken from miles' rooftop.

01.22.2005
03.30 gmt -05.00

maia krasnaia
on ledianoi

went out with justin and friends for noodles and pool.

namaj is in exactly three hours and fifty three minutes. my clothes are ironed. work shall be hell.

eid mubarak!

01.20.2005
04.52 gmt -05.00

sryshti (spelled with an i) convinced me to buy the lens. her argument being it's not money thrown away since i take photos all the time. realizing that of all my material possessions (you know i love you the most catherine), my cameras and lenses provide me with the most return, and put me in an allaround (a 7even on a one to ten scale) good mood. there are only so many things you can dis/re assemble with a leatherman. so many times i can glance at my watches to know how late i've slept.

my precious arrives tomorrow! i cannot wait! i've dressed the d70, n65, 50mm, 18-70mm, 24-90mm, and sb-800 in their nice clothes. i've made a space for the new family member in the bag, one that it doesn't have to share with its brothers.

i must behave myself though, work needs to be done before i can play. so behind i am that it shall be at 8ight at the earliest. so wednesday!

wednesday will be set aside (after work ofcourse) for photographying.

01.18.2005
03.18 gmt -05.00

i never did have an lj when i was a wee teenager. so i'm making up for lost time with all these emo / depeche mode understands me posts.

i'll be caught up with my current mentality in a few months.

tomorrow's post: how jill rejected my offer to take her to the dance, breaking my little brown heart into pieces which i collected and placed in a scrapbook with the proposal that i shall never love again! :(

01.18.2005
00.37 gmt -05.00

i got ditched tonight. walked around for a bit and had some iced coffee at midtown cafe. got a compliment on my jacket. browsed b&n. am now watching korean films.

the jacket acquired from gap for an astounding thirty bucks. it's dark brown.

01.15.2005
23.50 gmt -05.00

from last night:

say goodbye
so yesterday was a rather sad day. what with walking in the rain and being left to my own thoughts. neither of which do any good,especially in the presence of one another.

at the restaurant i ate myself into a stupor. losing myself in fried squid and mongolian lamb. on a whim (i never do this) dessert was brought forth; a scoop of mango ice cream; a scoop of green tea creamed ice. every bite of orange brought a memory from bangladesh; every green was new york. where am i now? i couldn't bear to finish.
i watched traffic for a goodly few minutes on the overpass. i want to leave this place.

your book brings relief. i treasure every letter and read but a few chapters a week. once i am done, it won't be the same to me. i want this feeling to last forever. i read but a few chapters a week; there's so much sadness i can bear. at times i try to see just how much i can (more and more as of late). it never works out and results in nights like this. watching the seconds die.

i have a sister, another one, a mother, father, family, friends, i don't want to be happy; just swim the other way round and see how far it can go, how dark it gets.

01.13.2005
15.46 gmt -05.00

fun fact: today's dinner consisted of a fried squid and kimchee salad appetizer and mongolian lamb entree. last time i had this was when ruhina told me.

the bubble tea shop is out of business. woe.

01.13.2005
06.03 gmt -05.00

thursday the seventh
don't remember what i did that day. finished work around four in the morning and had a genius plan.

friday the eighth
did not go to bed. plan was to stay up and run my errands, cash my checks, cut my hair, all before jummah at the masjid.
headed out on loyal catherine at six in the morning. sky was still pitch black and the roads were empty. made it down to five points in less than fifteen minutes. the city awoke as citizens spontaneously generated within starbucks coffee houses and walked away with their low fat soy venti mocha thing. i got lost twice.
bought my marta card and proceeded to the office to pick up my check. stopped outside and nearly collapsed as i had not ridden catherine in quite some time. strong sense of vomiting and nausea overtook me and i sat down and rested for a few minutes. left jeff a note.
rode back to georgia tech. legs and lungs and heart no longer ached or felt pain. sent off package and picked up another cheque. took pictures of cranes and a building, i think? still friday. rode around while waiting for bank and haircut place to open. took more pictures, i'm sure. met dr. dancilla, old Ærospace advisor. we got our haircut together. the barberist's nails were polished pink. arrived home at ten excited with the prospect of having enough time to do some work and go to the masjid. an hour later paid a visit to dear old zuhr and fell asleep on my sleeping bag.

friday the eighth?
woke up with sore throat and fatigue. taunting your immune system by riding around atlanta with no prior rest, with no jacket in the morning in winter. not smart.
went to bed at one am. nightmares. woke up gasping for air. went to bed. nightmares. woke up gasping for air.

saturday the ninth
woke up gasping for air. went to bed. nightmares. clock guesses it's ten am. i have to be up in three hours. did nerdy things for the rest of the day. treated myself to nyquil before i dozed off. took effect much faster than i recall.

sunday the tenth
still in effect.

01.09.2005
11.43 gmt -05.00

liongold
twilight (instrumental version)